Conversations with the Cat



HUMAN: Why are we here, Cat?

CAT: Something is moving on the other side of that window. I need to go stare at it until it goes away.

HUMAN: One popular theory is that we are here to make life better for the future generations. If this is true, our lives are already the product of previous iterations of our society doing the same for us. But it is difficult to measure what “better” is in terms of an ever-shifting ideological environment over time far longer than any of us is wont to experience.

CAT: Oh no. My claw is stuck on the curtain. Someone please HELP. I am PANICKING. Not good not good.

HUMAN: Others would put a spiritual spin on the question. They’d say we’re here to test the intrinsic goodness of our immortal souls, or to prove to whatever higher power that we are worthy of an afterlife free of earthly trials. Life is a benevolence contest, and the prize is death.

CAT: Oh. Never mind, it just got unstuck.

HUMAN: But that gets into a lot of different complicated philosophies, whether creatures are inherently good or bad or neither.

CAT: Is that little black thing a teeny tiny bug or a toy for me to play with? I think maybe it’s both. Probably it is. I think I will swat at it for the next fifteen minutes.

HUMAN: A scientist would say we are here to reproduce and create new combinations of genetic code more suitable to our environment. But then it raises the question of why we do that. What reason do we have to keep the earth populated with slightly more efficient versions of ourselves than for them to do the same?

CAT: Actually that is a paint chip. I was wrong. I will instead meow expectantly at the drawer where you keep the cat food spoons.

HUMAN: Is there a plateau of betterment? Will we eventually reach the point where we are the best we can be, the best suited to our environment and there’s nowhere left to go, or will we always be left adapting to a physical and ideological environment that left us generations ago?

CAT: I need to RUN really fast and JUMP on all the TABLES and CHAIRS.

HUMAN: And of course, there are always those who will say that we have no purpose. We are but a fluke of an otherwise ruthless universe. We are the atoms that did not respond to entropy, and instead evolved to the point where they could ponder themselves.

CAT: You can not see me because I am crouching very very low behind this shoe.

HUMAN: But, even if this existence is aleatory and arbitrary, you and I have managed to establish a rapport of symbiosis; food and shelter in exchange for companionship. And I find that remarkable.

CAT: Ha ha! I bet you were so surprised when I just pounced out of nowhere! I was actually hiding behind that shoe but I was so sneaky you did not know!

HUMAN: I’ll see you later, Cat. [exit]

CAT: I am the smartest cat.


4 thoughts on “Conversations with the Cat

  1. Brilliant conversation. I’m almost50/50 as to which side of the exchange is most profound, philosophically speaking. I may be leaning a wee bit more towards cat, because. Cat.


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