If Dr. Seuss was a Grammarian


How the Grinch Stole Chiasmus and Chiasmus Stole the Grinch

The Grinch began to see the light of reason
The parallelism between he and the season.
Christmas was nicer than he would have supposed,
When its place and his were were so juxtaposed.

Hortative Hears an Indefinite Pronoun

Let’s begin our story, with we-don’t-know-what
The pronoun “who” did not reveal much.
The hortative waited in a state of suspension
To decide what to do with the modal declension.

Green (def. 2) Eggs (def. 1) and Homonyms

Do you like green eggs and ham?
The ham’s not the color, you must understand.
The green I mean is not mixed yellow and blue
But a nice verdant golf course, right by Hole Two.

And Tooth Ink That Ice Awe It On Mondegreen Street

Things ark on fusing on Mondegreen Street
Eye miss here term soften, the phonemes compete
It sashay min English there are sew many words
That carry the capacity to be miss herd.

The Syntax

“If caring isn’t something you’re likely to do…”
The Lorax then paused so he could reconstrue.
He switched up the sentence after some thought:
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot…”

The Speeches and Other Stories

The first-person sneetches thought they were the best,
For they had more personality than the rest.
Third person sneetches took up dialogue most candid,
Second-person sneetches did as they were commanded.

Oh the Cases You’ll Know!

You’ll know genitive and ablative,
Instrumental and dative,
Plus accusative and vocative,
Nominative and locative.
You’ll love the future tense, you’d have loved the past
And present conjugation, as long as it lasts.



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