If you have a question not answered by the unhelpful FAQ below, send me a message by carrier pigeon or Internet, whichever is more convenient for you.
Q. What is this blog all about?
A. To sum up the theme of this blog is a near-impossible task. Some posts are old writing from school assignments gone by. Some are ramblings from 3AM that are miraculously coherent. A few are opuses that I spent a few weeks on, decided they were stupid, then posted anyway so the effort wouldn’t go to waste.
Q. What is the secret to your writing?
A. Free time and sarcasm
Q. I think your writing is stupid.
A. That is not a question
Q. Is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
A. Biologically it is a fruit, as it bears seeds and grows on a vine. However, in 1893, Supreme Court Justice Grey ruled that in the US, the tomato would be recognized as a vegetable for unrelated reasons.
“Botanically speaking, tomatoes are fruits of the vine… But in the common language of the people… all these are vegetables… which, whether eaten cooked or raw, are… generally are served at dinner, with or after the soup… and not, like fruits, generally, as a dessert.”
Q. How many of your organs have been lost to science?
A. One appendix, one terminal ileum, and five wisdom teeth.
Q. What does FAQ stand for?
A. “Freely Anatidaephobic Quarks”
Q. What is your favorite periodic element?